The Weekly Dose of Ridiculous

The building in which I work has TVs in the elevators.  Since I work on the top floor of a thirteen-story building, I get to listen to them for quite awhile, especially in the mornings when there are more people in the car with me.  These televisions are usually set on CNN or Fox News or some other background noise.

Last Friday, as I was leaving work, the Weather Channel was playing.  Everything last week was, predictably, geared towards the Super Bowl (the Syrian regime used chemical weapons on the opposition?  How does that affect the point spread on Sunday?), to include weather forecasts.  This is understandable, given that the Super Bowl was being played in an outdoor stadium in New Jersey in the dead of winter.

I got off the elevator just in time to hear the Weather Channel anchor say, "Next up--your ultimate Super Bowl Sunday forecast!".  Walking to the car, I thought to myself…what constitutes an "ultimate" weather forecast?  Dictionary.com defines "ultimate" as "maximum, decisive, or conclusive"; or, as "last, final, or total".  So unless this most recent Super Bowl was the last to be played, or unless the earth was going to come to an end on Monday, was it really the "ultimate" weather forecast?

We (and I include myself in this) as a culture tend to throw superlatives into sentences where they are either unnecessary, unneeded, or incorrect.  New episodes of a TV show are "super new"(really?  Wow, that's much better than "kind of new").  Every Labor Day, furniture stores advertise their biggest sales "ever" (which doesn't make any sense, since they said the same thing last Labor Day and will say the same thing next Labor Day).  The three-point shot at the buzzer that won the game was "awesome" (was it really?  Did it invoke an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, or fear in the fans present?).

All of this is, of course, totally, completely, and insanely ridiculous.  And, in my own personal opinion, it cheapens our language.

Until next time, dear readers, I hope you all have the most ultimately awesome week ever!