TGIF, people (international)

When you graduate with your Masters, you reach this:

The Last Post I Can Label Under "Grad School"

I took this picture of G reading on the floor the other day with Roo Roo:

He had to lift her ears in order to turn the page. They looked so cute together, and when I ran to get my phone I told him not to move because I was going to take a picture. He goes, "Why are you taking a picture? So that you can then not blog about this??"

Touche.

It's been a while, loves, because I've been defending my thesis and interviewing for teaching jobs while, you know, teaching my classes, and trying not to fail as a student or an instructor or just in, like, life.

Remember me?

The past few weeks have been a bit dicey. Oh, who am I kidding? The past few months have.

In a nutshell:

• I'm no longer a grad student.
• I am the proud recipient of a Master of Arts in Literature!
• I'm now qualified to teach college classes.
• I have a teaching job at a university over the summer.
• And I'm teaching 3 college courses in the fall!
• I'll keep up my writing consultant gig and my freelance gig as well. 

It's all coming together!

In short, all the hustling of late - and, really, over the last 4 years - has paid off.

And I wanted to write and fill you in on it before we take a quick lil vacay that I'd like to blog about.

G is alive and kicking and still very much a nerd. I could include a nerdy pic here but I want you to keep reading and so I won't.

Stay tuned for a celebratory vacay!

Downright Civilized

This weekend I just about didn't know what to do with myself. Life without constant homework is...pretty darn liberating. I work on my thesis for about an hour every morning (and will pick up the pace on that this week because I have a revised draft due to my chair soon), and I have regular grading that I do, but that's "it."

This weekend we went to brunch - twice! - and a movie, and took a walk, and hung out together at home.

We enjoyed the spring-like weather and made some lowkey travel plans and watched TV.

I re-potted another plant (on the far left, in the orange pot) and gave the lil beauties some TLC. I brainstormed some jobs to apply for later this month when I feel like my thesis is under control.

Basically, this weekend was a window into what life will be like post-degree. Very, very soon. It was so civilized. The pace was so manageable. I could get used to this.

I'm used to every hour of the entire day being delegated to homework or grading or writing or lesson planning, and it feels so good to be reaping what I've sown over the last 4 years. March is going to be a crazy month for me, but it's going to be the last crazy month. By the first week of April, God willing, I'll be finished with my thesis and will have defended it.

Then immabe like:

Here's a close up:

Lately

My friend, Em, was here this past week and, well, there was a lot of food. We tried a new (to me) brunch spot called Sassafras and OMG. I will be going back there again, and again.

You guys. This is a buttermilk biscuit topped with a homemade Pimento spread and pickles, fried chicken, eggs, and duck fat gravy.

Duck fat gravy.

I'm gonna just give you a minute.

In other news, we got Roo Roo this cat tunnel and she mostly just gets stuck in it and lays down for a while. It kills me.

She was mama's lil Valentine.

It has been beyond cold in Denver. I haven't ridden my bike in weeks because of snow and ice on the trail. My legs are like, "This is fabulous, and also, pass the pizza."

A friend gave me this plant clipping and I'm just waiting for it to sprout some new roots so I can plant it in a pot. I'm upping the ante in the ol' bay window. Slow and steady wins the race against G and his green prejudices. (He says he can see bugs around the house. There are no bugs around the house.)

Roo Roo claimed the tree skirt at Christmas and it has become her magic carpet. Our morning ritual is, she lays on it and plays in the library while I drink coffee and work on my thesis (i.e., stare out the front window).

I've had a couple of nervous breakdowns lately about the thesis. I got overwhelmed with the theory portion and my advisor had to talk some sense into me. All is well now and I'm plugging along on it. I'm sure I'll only have to rewrite it about 14 more times before I graduate.

I've also tentatively started sending my CV out and looking for teaching jobs. (When I graduate, I'll have to teach at other colleges in order to remain a writing consultant at this one.) I've received some enthusiastic responses, which is a good sign, and I'm hoping fall enrollment is good and strong everywhere so I'll get a few more classes under my belt.

With our crazy schedules and visitors, G and I are two ships passing in the night. He brought home these flowers the other day and this has become my favorite view.

I've been able to read for fun, though! Life is starting to shift in that way.

Not only that. I've been watching TV, too! Top Chef Denver is almost done but that's OK because the latest season of Homeland just started up again and next month the season finale of The Americans comes on.

Yesterday I helped a friend move out of her apartment and clean it, which brought back all kinds of PTSD from that phase of life. (BFJ, if you are reading this, I kept thinking about that Hawaii apartment you helped me clean. Me: "Thanks for helping and everything, but I mean, I AM giving you this dish drainer so..." You: "Yes, I'm the one with the better end of this deal.") So, so glad to be settled in a house.

Well, loves, this thesis ain't gonna write itself. Not sure how much my involvement is adding to it, but hey, I gotta graduate.

The Middle Space

You guys.

It occurs to me that I only have two speeds: 0 and 100. I'm used to operating at 100: teaching, consulting, doing homework, frantically reading and writing and pseudo-adulting so that the house stays in one piece and the rabbit occasionally gets fed.

But now. It's so weird not having classes or homework. I'm not graduated yet but I'm not exactly living the life of a student anymore, either. The panic and the urgency of my classes have been the central point for all the other tasks: the lesson planning and grading and presentations. Now, though, I have meetings with my chair once a month and in between those I'm left to my own devices to do a ton of research and writing. With no daily or even weekly deadlines. With no regular homework.

It's downright liberating. I think it may be too liberating. Because what happens is that if I'm not going 100 mph, I'm going - you guessed it - zero.

I'm binge watching Netflix and reading for fun and cooking Blue Apron and eating way too much. I'm not biking to work everyday (because I don't go to campus everyday) and I've discovered that Pillsbury makes flaky cinnamon rolls (!) and also that Dijiorno frozen pizza is very good.

This weekend I re-potted a plant. Like, just for fun! Isn't she a beauty?

I say all this to say: I don't know what to do with myself in this middle space.

My schedule is manageable and that's a good thing. I can breathe and think and relax and spend time with G and Roo. We went to a movie on Saturday! And I didn't feel rushed and stressed and like it was a major inconvenience. We just, like, went. And then talked about it. And then had dinner with friends.

Whose life am I living??? This is remarkable and yet I'm thrown entirely off balance. I feel like I can't enjoy this new (permanent?) phase because the Type A part of my brain (the part with the loud speaker) is looking over her shoulder for the ball to drop. She's waiting for us to realize that we forgot to take a class or read a book or write a paper and the gig's up, and we're not actually graduating and in fact we have to start all over.

Pass the Xanax.
#Firstworldproblems.

Standing Room Only

As you can tell from my lack of presence on the ol' blog, real life has kicked in pretty hard. It was like, VACATION! SAFARI! EUROPEAN CANALS!...WORK.

STUDENTS! CLASSES! CHAOS! MADNESS!

And rabbits!

With all the things we had going on over the summer, I realize I haven't posted many pics of Roo. Partly, I've just been a bad blogger. Partly, we've spent time getting to know her. And partly, it was very hard to deal with losing Loo Loo Bean. I just didn't want to talk about bun buns for a while.

But this one. You guys, she's such an oaf.

Anyhoo, so prepare yourself for the coming onslaught of baby bunny pics once more.

Did I mention I'm having the teensiest problem adjusting to the school year? Both the classes I teach are fully enrolled with about 10 students on the wait list. My classes are literally standing room only. Before you think this is some kind of reflection on my teaching ability, let me clarify that I teach a required course at a very popular time. So.

But! This is my last traditional semester as a grad student. Which is to say that this semester I'm finishing up my required courses, my last two literature classes. Next semester I'll just be ("just be") working on my thesis and graduate portfolio. Even though that will be a lot of work and I'll complain about it pretty much 24/7, it will not be a traditional semester. I won't have any classes to actually attend. So, this is my last semester of attending classes as a student! (Hallelujah hands emoji)

That deserves one more silly rabbit pic. Here you go. Celebrate with me.

I have more Tanzania thoughts - and pics! - to share. Now that I'm back in business. I have missed you.

A Very Different Kind of Summer

G's parents are safely back home and everyone is on our eat-nothing-but-water diet. I might have sprung for the teensiest Starbucks latte tonight but otherwise...

So this summer is going to be markedly different from those of the recent past. Which is to say that bunny mama is gonna work. I've discovered that taking 2+ months off - while it sounds deliriously wonderful and amazing - isn't the best thing for (1) our finances, or, (2) my mental health. Turns out I need a routine to keep me anchored. A routine that consists of more than reading, binge watching Netflix, and hiking all over RMNP. Oh, and yard work.

Plus, the paycheck doesn't hurt. (G would chime in here to say that it doesn't help, either. But, hey, every lil bit...)

During the summer semester I'll not only be working in the writing consultant job, but I will be helping out in two additional college classes, which will be a new experience to add to my teaching repertoire. I'll be a writing consultant in a special summer bridge class to help high school students transition to college writing courses, and I'll be a TA for a high-level Rhetoric course, facilitating class discussions and helping with the grading. Both classroom experiences will be at least somewhat new and different for me, which will be great to add to the ol' CV before I graduate next year.

But that's not all!

We're changing up our luggage situation for the Africa trip! No suitcases for us. We are going light and tight with these roll-able packs. They arrived today and we've been trying them out around the house. (You can't tell from this pic but it's snowing outside. Has been all day. Because Denver.)

Unlike our trip a few years ago, we are going very light, taking only a couple of outfits and the essentials. We wanted something durable that we could check on long flights (I mean, there will be souvenirs, people) but that won't be hard to schlep around the safari vehicles and in the bush.

You know, the African bush.

That we will explore in a few weeks.

Hallelujah and praise God.

Tanzania! The Serengeti!

G was super thrilled about being my model for these pics. He found the packs online at Cabella's. This is a London brand that is only available in the store's online stock (as opposed to physically in the stores). These seem like they're going to be perfect not only for this vacation but for future trips like this. We're contemplating doing a rim to rim hike of the Grand Canyon next year with Mer and her hubs. Contemplating.

So, here's to a whole different summer season!

Back to my regularly scheduled latte.

Last Morning with Milton

All my papers have been written.

Visitors arrive today.

I'll give you all my King Soopers coupons if you'll come clean my house and cook for me.

That is all.

All the Haps

This was yet another week of little-to-no blogging (OK, no blogging) because of the head not being above the water.

The head was quite a ways under the water. There were little, frantic air bubbles racing to the surface.

But! I gave my last presentation of the semester yesterday, and only have one big paper and a couple of small assignments left. Which is to say I may be passing this semester of grad school.

I can't speak for my students, though. I brought them donuts this week to try to calm the lil beasts (they, too, are turning in big papers and giving presentations in my classes) and it looks like if I throw in homemade cookies next week, that just might do the trick.

It's beautiful here, though.

Here are a few happenings of late:

I gave two presentations at a conference last weekend! Done and done.

Our new fence goes up today, our yard has been mowed, and the Got Junk peeps handled this on Tuesday. Notice that the back deck is gone! As well as that enormous tree trunk.

This will be another summer of back yard Before and After posts, so more info on that later, but suffice it to say that we removed layer upon layer upon layer of landscaping stones and bricks. It filled an entire truck bed!

We also got rid of one of our chairs in the side room, to make more space for a summer full of visitors (and, let's be honest, just to make more space in general). One more honkin' piece of brown furniture removed! That's progress!

It has taken Lucy a while, but she approves, in case you're wondering. She now has an extra play corner of crap until mama puts up a pretty, decorative plant and shushes her back onto the hearth with her bought friends.

I usually do all my writing and grading at the standing desk. Sometimes it's hard to concentrate.

This week marks my last one of getting up at 4:00 a.m. to finish major projects every day. I plan to do nothing but sleep this weekend.

That is all.

Remind Me - Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?

While the AR trip was good - let's face it, time with Gama is the best - it pretty much ensured that my head won't be above water again until approximately 2035.

It's the usual. I hesitate to whine to you about the things you've heard so many times before but OK here we go.

Milton papers and presentations. Forever. I'm basically living in hell <--- that's not metaphorical; I'm studying hell in Paradise Lost.

All the grading. All the needy students and their needy needs. And I'm giving two presentations at a conference this weekend. I'm thinking that now would be the time to, you know, develop some slides or talking points or something.

And, for some reason that totally eludes me, G and I thought that this would be the perfect time to have people tear out our deck, remove a series of stumps from the back yard, replace our fence, and trim trees/clean out our chimney. Oh, and we have an appt soon with Got Junk to remove 1,500 paving and landscape stones from our back yard, some furniture from the house, and enough wood planks (left for us by the previous tenants when we bought the house) to build someone a log cabin. I might throw Lucy in the truck for good measure.

I've taken to cleaning the rabbit cage just to procrastinate from it all.

This is the time of the semester when it feels the most like things won't come together. I really won't be able to write the last few papers. I won't be able to present on Milton with clarity. At work they'll decide that I don't make a good boss after all. And my needy students will revolt.

I'm bringing in donuts next week. We'll see if that helps.

The Brightest and Most Glorious Light at the End of the World's Longest Tunnel

Guess what, loves? It's official! I will graduate next spring!

Cheers to me!

I met with my grad advisor yesterday and since I used to be an advisor (a million years ago in another life) you know I was prepared with my transcript and requirements and questions, and questions to double check those questions.

And?

I'm all set.

As in, dassit! Two classes in the fall, and a hellacious portfolio/thesis/Defense of Everything next spring and then this girl is done with homework forever and ever, amen.

Want to know the funny thing? Even though I have a year left - and it's not going to be an easy year - part of me feels done already. I think that's because I have my teaching style figured out, and I know the professors for my remaining classes, and I know the writing and grading styles of the committee who will oversee my graduate defense, and I'm all settled into the consultant job. I'm even settling in to being a boss again. (Take that either way you want: a boss as in, I supervise others, or a boss as in, I'm an amazing individual.)

The only new thing waiting for me is to be done with one major component of my life - school! Then I can fill in that gap (hopefully) with free lance work.

I'm also excited because this is my last semester of a crazy long night course. Some of my days go from about 7 a.m. until 8 p.m. and after about three more weeks, those days are over. That's a major load off, literally, because I won't have to schlep all of my books and my laptop and all of my meals with me for entire days at a time.

Now, don't get me wrong. My days of whining and complaining and venting about homework and papers and writing and reading and revising are nowhere near over, loves. We have a whole 'nother year of that.

So, drink up.

April Showers Bring Bun Flowers

On Friday morning, my self-described gay princess coworker and I were talking about our weekend plans. I mentioned that I scheduled a MASS-ahgze on Saturday morning and he sighed, gazed into his coffee, and longingly whispered "privilege..." He's the only person I know in this ultra liberal college environment who mutters that word with an envious tone, which is a breath of fresh air.

I may or may not text him a series of pics when I go to the spa. It goes something like this:

It occurs to me that Easter is in a week and I haven't bombarded you with bunny decor. Why didn't anybody say anything?? Here you go and my apologies for this serious lapse on my part.

So there you have it.

I meet with my advisor tomorrow just to double check that I'm on track to graduate next Spring. Because if that's the case, I'm locked in to my last 2 literature classes in the fall. And then that's it! Other than a grueling last semester of a graduate portfolio and observations of my teaching and defending my work and my teaching philosophy, I'm pretty much home free!

Cross your fingers for me.

Me & Sisyphus

I pushed my rock over to the table this morning.

Bright and early tomorrow it goes onto my back. Where it will stay until May.

My Last Spring Break

We all know that I have dragged out my Master's program beyond belief. The main reason for this is that it's not just a program to me. I'm not going to school just to get a degree; I'm going to integrate myself into a whole new career (or bits and pieces of several careers put together) and that takes more than two years. Plus, I'm getting a graduate certificate in Women's and Gender Studies in addition to my M.A. in Literature, so there's that.

As of this semester, I have been in grad school for three years. I have one more year to go, and will graduate next spring. That said, next fall will be my last tough semester: two back-to-back intense literature classes. By next spring, though, I will only (hahahahahaha) be working on my graduate portfolio and thesis. While that's not a cake walk, it won't involve going to multiple classes. I'll only be teaching and doing the writing consultant job; all the work I'll do for my portfolio will be on my own. I'll have many meetings with professors, and the semester will be full of deadlines, but by next spring break I will, for all intents and purposes, be done with my graduate work.

This time next year I will be free falling into graduation.

So, this is my last real spring break.

We took this pic after I found out I was accepted to the MA program. We were touring campus. That building behind us? I've taught in it for three years now. Little did I know at the time.

To make a long and bureaucratic story short, as a grad student, I am able to teach and do the writing consultant job. Once I graduate, I only get to do one or the other. So, when I say that I've stretched out my degree to accommodate for a new career, that's what I mean. It was never my intention to fly through a graduate degree. It was my intention to take advantage of the opportunity to gain experience teaching and consulting.

And I have!

I'm now a manager at the writing consultant job and have many semesters of experience teaching at the college level. By the time I graduate, I'll have even more and will look for teaching positions (classes here and there) at other colleges. I'll keep the consultant job at my current college. And I'm trying to build up freelance work to round it all out.

This was taken when we went to Red Cloud, Nebraska, to tour Willa Cather's home town.

And I'm ready to graduate. Like, mentally ready to move on to the next thing. The next thing being no homework and papers and constant reading. School is a lot of things, but it is not flexible. Not even close. Not that working in the real world, the 9-to-5 world, is a dream. After all, that's what I left because it was so stifling. It was crushing my soul.

School has allowed me, because I'm studying liberal arts, to experience a mixture of real life and the life of the mind. No one needs school to develop a life of the mind, of course, but I think I did. I needed the discipline of the mind, people pushing and pushing me to think more and better and then write about it and then try to pass a variety of skills on to other students as well. I needed to be immersed in it and to grow in a way that wasn't so skill-based, but that was thought-based, rooted in ideas and their history and the world of literature. It's like I got grounded again.

Presenting at a conference in SLC last year.

So, here's to spring break!

I'm one day in and have read a book for fun, watched an entire Netflix show (try The OA!), started a new book, graded four papers, and started a work project.

I'm also looking for more Netflix rec's. Send them my way!

Week 1: Beyond Survival

Well, hello there, Saturday. You lovely thing, you.

This post is proof that I survived the first week of the semester. In all fairness, despite my flair for the dramatic, the first week is way easier than the following fourteen. Students are as good as they're gonna get, smiling at my jokes, answering questions, keeping the chit chat to a minimum while I'm talking. No grading. "Easy" reading in my Lit classes since we're at the very beginning. No need to jump into Paradise Lost if we don't know enough context about Milton yet, now is there?

You get the idea.

But I did more than just survive, scrape through. I kept the house looking like real, productive adults live here. Look! The house does not - and I mean not - usually look like this at the end of the week. But I hosted a leadership meeting in the living room yesterday, and even managed to go to bed last night with a completely clean kitchen.

I can now take on the world. Gimme world hunger and watch me solve it.

Then I was up bright and early, reading Milton at 6:30, so that we could get out for a few hours and enjoy the scenery. We went hiking at Hayden Green Mountain Park in Lakewood. Once you climb straight uphill for like a mile, you can see in every direction.

Denver is behind us in the distance (between our heads)

About a mile in, we came across a Darma station. Just kidding, it was a radio tower but we enjoyed a trip down Lost memory lane. Black smoke monster, anyone? Ha.

My goal for each week of this semester is to go beyond survival, whatever that means for the time at hand.

Lucy doesn't share that goal. Also? She can't figure out what to do about that pesky standing desk. It's an endless source of fascination for her.