A Quiet Place (or: when introversion rattles its chains)

I have written on introversion before, but it is first and foremost on my mind this week because of everything going on around here.  My fam was here for a few days, which was fun, but also draining.  They left yesterday which just so happened to coincide with a day full of important meetings, which continue through today.  This means that even though my days go well and life is good, I come home at night, get ready for bed, and crash on the couch.  No talking on the phone, no tv, no computer.

No noise.

A common mis-perception about introverts is that they don't like being around people or social situations.  Perhaps this is true for those hermits out there and those very, very high on the introvert scale, but the average, socially-functioning introvert doesn't mind being around other people at all.  Particularly in smaller groups, or in one-on-one settings where more "authentic" conversations occur and there isn't as much small talk.

But where introverts and extroverts differ significantly is in their energy levels and the sources of that energy.  Extroverts get their energy from other people, from social interaction and communication with others.  Therefore social interactions (of almost any kind, from the barista at the coffee shop to the water cooler conversations at work) are engaging and life-giving to them.  Introverts get their energy from within; from the "richness of the inner life" and from their internal thought processes.  So one way of looking at it is if we all start with our energy penny banks full at the beginning of the day, each social interaction takes a penny from the introvert, leaving her empty towards the end of the day.  Only silence or alone time will give her tomorrow's dose of pennies.

People (who don't know me well) are often surprised that I would even consider myself an introvert.  "But you're so nice!"  "But you're so good with people!"  Niceness, consideration of others, patience, social skills - those are all very different from energy levels.  And it's the energy thing that gets me every time with introversion.  Right now, for example, I'm not worn down because I hate people and continually have to hang around them.  I like these people!  I respect many of them and choose to be around them.  [[I honestly do not think introverts look at a person coming towards them and think, "Oh, you again.  Here we go."]]  But when the pennies haven't been in the bank in a few days, social interactions become a sacrifice for my "inner life" and so when I find myself on my own, alone at home, I quickly fall into a catatonic state for several hours until my pennies are back (or my word quota is back) or I've had enough cups of coffee to go at it again.

No particular point to all this other than the value of self-awareness.  A little knowledge about my introversion goes a long way.  There have been times that I thought I was getting sick because I was so tired, or wondered what was wrong with me because everyone else wanted to go out and party and I just wanted to go home and sit alone.  Am I boring?  No.  Is there something wrong with me?  No.  Because after I sit alone and stare at the wall and work through my thoughts and make lists that I need (personal and work-related) and get a bit re-energized, I go back out and make jokes and hold meetings and have great, great conversations with the people in my life.

And then I go home and sit on the couch again.  Repeat.

:)