Taking the long view

Have you ever noticed that there is never a good time for anything?  This sentiment mainly comes up (at least in my experience) when people wring their hands about when to start a family.   The advice is to start whenever, because there never has been, nor will ever be, the "perfect" time.  Or even a good time.

Time is just time.

Although I joke on the blog, life has yet to settle down for us, even since G got out here.  As fate would have it, I didn't need to travel for work until he moved here, and then I needed to travel frequently at first.  In the midst of that, I decided to schedule this trip to see family and surprise Gama for her birthday.

And the thing is, now is not a good time.

But the thing is, sometimes you just have to take the long view and ask yourself, what can I do so that I won't regret this in 10 years?  20 years?  And the answer, for me, was just to go.  Schedule a plane ticket, take some vacation time, make G a single parent...and go.  Work will still be here when I get back.  Orca will still be old & cancerous & high maintenance.  The laundry will be piled up and so will the dishes and so will the bills.  Because that's my life.

There are many things that I screw up, but in general, I'm a pro at taking the long view.  I consider it a spiritual gift (Is it tied to faith?  Discernment?  I dunno.).  The Bible frequently mentions that our days are numbered, and somehow I just get it.  We aren't guaranteed anything.  Which makes the good things worth celebrating, and if you don't pause and celebrate them, they don't wait for you.  They disappear.

And time runs out.

One thing I can say about when Papa died, and the years since then: I have no regrets.  None.  I want that to be the case with Gama, too.  I can't wait to see the look on her face tomorrow!

Ready for the new normal

Just when G and I get used to being in the same place at the same time, I remember that I have to leave again.  Tomorrow.  That's ok, though, because when I get back next week, I'm not making any more quick trips for a long time.  For like, at least two weeks.  :)  

My coworkers in VA keep asking me when I'm traveling back again and I have to take a deep breath to refrain from saying I LIVE IN DENVER, REMEMBER?  COME OUT THERE IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH ME.

But anyhoo.

I'll get in to AR tomorrow night and will surprise Gama first thing on Friday morning.  As far as I know, she has no idea the family is about to descend on her for a weekend of non-stop partying.  And by "family" I mean me and my bro.  The poor woman doesn't know what she's in for.

This one is coming and we're going out at least 5,000 times for drinks and talks about life and the future.

And this one has to go to the vet today.

G and I are steeling ourselves a bit.  She seems to be in very good shape, considering, but the Xrays will show us how the cancer is advancing.  As good as life is getting for us, these are stressful days in that regard.  There is a clock ticking in our background.

As I plan and pack for the weekend, G and Orca are researching nerd stores and local scenic routes.  They pretend to be sad that I'm leaving, but I catch them checking their watches and exchanging knowing glances.  I'm no fool.

In case you were wondering

This is what my walk to work looks like in the snow.

Waterproof hiking shoes; waterproof pants

I put Yak Trax on my shoes to get more traction on the snow and ice; I only surfed around a couple of times yesterday. I'm sure it was entertaining to watch.

Most of the walk looks like this.

And I look like this.  America's Next Top Model keeps calling me and I'm like, "People!  Leave me alone already!"

The Transformation!

Love and War at the Circus

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

I don't think I ever would have picked up this book and read it on my own, but it was recommended by a new peep.  I think she mainly wanted me to shut up about Age of Miracles, so she showed up in my office with this.

The description reads:

"The circus arrives without warning.  No announcement precede it.  It is simply there, when yesterday it was not.  Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements.  It is called Le Cirque des Reves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway:  a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors.  Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing.  Amidst the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone from the performers to the patrons hanging in the balance."

The book takes place at the tail end of the 1800's and the beginning of the 1900's, as the circus jumps around the globe, transported by a magic train.  The chapters jump as much as the circus; each one is a different character in a different city in a different year.  I found it distracting and after a while I didn't pay much attention to it.  Because of this, I don't believe I would have ever become interested if I hadn't had uninterrupted chunks of time in which to read this (sitting in the airport, on the plane, in the hotel room).  As it was, it took me around 75+ pages to get into it and if my life hadn't afforded me these chunks of time, I would have quit.  But I'm glad I didn't.

Morgenstern's descriptions of the circus, the characters and their magical talents are interesting and unique.  I think the whole circus/magic thing has been exhausted in books and movies these days, but as Celia and Marco duel with each other, their acts and expressions get more and more fantastic, which is enjoyable.  And by the end, I really was anxious to know how it was going to play out.

If you need to get swept up in the story from page one, this probably isn't the book for you.  Also, if you only have snippets of time in which to read, this may not be the book for you.  But if the premise sounds interesting, give it a shot.  Morgenstern delivers a magical tale and some endearing characters...eventually.

Enjoy!

Idaho Springs (+ satisfying a craving)

We woke up to a snowy morning - these are the best.  It is starting to come down pretty hard and G made an astute observation about apartment living:  (1) both of our cars are in covered parking, hallelujah, and (2) we don't have a long driveway (or any driveway!) to shovel out.  Ahhhh, how relaxing.

Let me tell you how good it is to be home.  Unfortunately it's only for a couple of days because I fly to surprise my Gama this next weekend.  It will be fun, but this introvert is ready for a few uninterrupted days.  The kind that don't involve suitcases and planes.

Yesterday started out with a routine trip to the vet's office.

We take Orca to a rabbit specialist in Boulder.  About halfway there, we got stopped in hellacious traffic.  I don't know if there was an accident or what but we turned around and called to reschedule.

Somehow, we ended up here for breakfast:

She likes her burrito with extra hot sauce.  Note that it is as big as she is.  That's mama's girl!

After dropping her back off at the ranch, we went to explore Idaho Springs, a little town in the foothills.

It's a bustling little place with about 3 blocks of shops and restaurants.  The most noteworthy, though, is the donut shop.  OMG I have been craving a real donut for months and months.  Not a pastry, not anything fancy, and not something store bought.  A donut that someone formed and dropped into the hot oil sometime around 4:00 this morning, then covered with sugary goodness.

G came through for me and pointed out just the right place.

Then we explored the drive up to Mt. Evans (the road is closed halfway up the mountain).  The scenery was, of course, awesome but I have to say that the apple fritter won the day.

The entire drive was like this.  They're like, not joking with the snow out here.

Echo Lake is totally frozen over.

Mt. Evans

It's time for me to curl up with a cup of coffee and ignore all the dishes that need to be done.  Snowy mornings demand laziness.  Plus, it's the Sabbath.  It's my Christian duty.

TGIF, people!

Haaaaaaa!

One more day

Last night I did one of the things I was most excited about this week - I hung out with my Carpool Buddy M at her place after work.  We ordered Thai food and chased it down with some of her amazing strawberry/vanilla cake.

I'm not the only one who got really excited about it.

M is recovering from surgery and it was my duty as her friend to hang out and eat with her.

Today is my last full day of work this week (tomorrow will be a partial travel day) and I could not be more ready to head back.  Don't get me wrong, I like my job (for the most part), but my day goes a little like this:  chaos, drama, meetings, lunch, chaos, drama, meetings, afternoon coffee (decaf), chaos, drama, meetings, chaos, drive to hotel, cram in dinner, look longingly at bed, climb in bed with clothes on, nap until time to take shower, talk to G, go back to sleep.  Repeat.

I lead a very exciting life.  Tonight was supposed to be a happy hour in celebration of a coworker who is retiring, but it got moved to tomorrow.  The introvert in me tried not to show just how pumped I am that I get to crash in the hotel room after work.  What can I say?  That's how it is.

Meanwhile it is snowing in Denver.

I'm extremely jealous because instead of laying around sleeping here, I could be laying around with my bun bun.

She took off her XBox headphones for these photos.

G has managed to put together his hobby desk and I'm sure he has transformed the crap room into a useable, organized and pleasant space.  I love starting the day off with a good joke.

T minus one day and counting!

Stress Management

I'm a creature of habit, what can I say?

Here I am again:

And this is what I had for dinner:

Look familiar?  Yeah, I know.  The bottom roll was a Tex Mex Roll (shrimp + jalapeno tempura with veggies & yumminess) and the top one was a Rainbow Roll.  Oh lil fishies, you are some heavenly goodness.

My plane was delayed last night (again) and then I had to drive across the state of VA (ok, just Northern VA)...(again).  I fell face-first onto the bed at 2:00 A.M. and had to get up early for a meeting.  I am so done with this traveling for work thing.  Three more days and my happy butt is on a plane back home.

The first couple of weeks I traveled back and forth, it was somewhat exciting.  It was nice to work with my ole gang again, and be in the middle of the action again, and have a crap ton lot of things going on all at once.  Then I remembered why I wanted to move away in the first place.  I'm just over it already.  So, the weekend leading up to yesterday's travel became increasingly stressful.  And as I sat on the plane last night I thought about how far my stress management has come.

I've tried many stress-management tips from many sources, and these are my golden ones. 

* Limit caffeine 
Some people are way more susceptible to caffeine than others, but it is a drug that affects us all.  That's why Starbucks is so popular.  That's why I would choose a good cup of coffee over a good meal any day.  However, caffeine in any form can do a number on your body if you are already anxious or nervous.  I learned (through trial and error a few years ago) that I am much calmer in general, and throughout the work day especially, when I limit my caffeine.  I have one cup of coffee in the morning (and it is a true cup (6-8 oz), not the jumbo size I used to buy at Dunkin' Donuts) and no other caffeine at all throughout the day.  No sodas, no tea, no more coffee.  My anxiety may not completely disappear, but it fades into the background a heck of a lot easier without a stimulant coursing through my veins.

P.S. Limiting sugar has the same effect.  And is also good for the waistline.

* Exercise
It releases endorphins that make you feel good.  Or at least feel better.  Nine times out of ten I work out for the mental benefits rather than the physical, although those are great, too.  They'd be even better if I hadn't just eaten two cookies but that's only adding to my stress, not managing it, so let me get back on point.

Exercise is also a good way to re-establish your mind/body connection.  I realize how crunchy that sounds, but it's true.  It's very hard for your mind to gnaw away on an issue when you're running at top speed and feel like you're going to throw up.  Or when you're concentrating on breathing during yoga, or trying not to get punched in the face in a martial arts class.  You get it.  The exhilaration causes your mind to focus on the immediate action, and consequently the anxiety has to take a back seat.  Also, exercise reminds you of what you can do, rather than all those stresses in your mind telling you what you can't do.  There are some nights when I get home and crash on the couch, defeated.  And then I remember that, heck, if nothing else, I walked 5 miles today...

*Breathe
A lot.  Very deeply and very slowly.  Until your lungs feel like they can't expand anymore.  Breathe from your abdomen, not your chest.  Inhale and hold it.  Exhale and breathe normally, then repeat.  A few deep breaths can calm me down as much as a glass of wine.  And oxygen doesn't have any calories!  Now if only they would export some to Denver...

So, I combined these three tips yesterday when I knew I was likely to stress out:

I made myself a 6-oz cup of coffee in the Keurig and didn't even drink the whole thing.  I could drink my weight in coffee, people.  Restricting my daily amount is pure discipline but let me tell you: it is foolproof.  This one tip works without fail.

Then I ran on the treadmill.  I purposefully worked myself very hard because (1) I wanted those endorphins, (2) I wanted the physical challenge to distract my mind from the mental challenges, and (3) I wanted to wear myself out so even if I got nervous on the plane, my body wouldn't have much energy left to use for worrying. 

And when the plane took off (and landed), I breathed and breathed and breathed.  The thing is, I wasn't even nervous but I did it anyway because it has become a habit.  I do it when I get a stressful phone call, or deal with a mean person.  I realized a couple of years ago how little I actually breathed in difficult times - my body clamped up and my lungs shut down.  Just remembering to open them up again has been huge.  And taking the time to breathe gives me time to think and consider things rather than feeling immediate pressure to respond to whatever that stressful situation is.

None of these are new or even that interesting.  But they work.  Prayer works too, but that's a post for another day.  Good luck de-stressing.

:)

Presidents' Day doesn't get more exciting than this

Let's hear it for 3-day weekends!  (As I typed that, I mistakenly wrote '30-day weekends'.  I wish.  Oh how I wish.)

My secondary loves came in the mail this weekend:

I DVR'd the Season 3 Finale last night but then fell asleep on the couch and didn't watch it.  Now I'm about to fly to frikkin' VA and won't get the chance to see it until next weekend.  It's wrong and we live in a fallen world.  What can I say.

Also it's much too beautiful outside to leave.  The sacrifices I make.  Just because they pay me doesn't mean they get to call all the shots.

We spent our half-day together doing very exciting things like trading in used books for credit at our new favorite bookstore,

Going to our favorite pit stop for lunch,

Starting up the ole trips to Goodwill once more.  We are determined to turn the crap room into a useable hobby and storage area.  And by we I mean G.  And by useable I mean sort of kind of organized and presentable.

And we capped it off with a trip to Wally World to buy a hobby desk for G.  I made the mistake of telling new friends this weekend that he does, and I quote, "modeling on the side."  He was like, plastic models, plastic...

Time to trudge around the apartment and whine while I pack.  I don't want to leave and it doesn't help that the weather is one step away from magical.  The good news is that I'm no longer completely freaked by the thought of flying, and also that I get to be present for some significant (to me) events in VA this week, and that before I know it, I'll be back and it'll be time to do brunch and hiking again!

If we had a love child...

...this would be it

G managed to find something for both of us: a game store inside a coffee shop.
And not just some sub-par joint, but an actual tasty coffee shop.
It's like we had a love child and ran into her today!

I admit, I was skeptical.  I ordered a black forest mocha and crossed my arms while I waited.  G all but skipped around the game tables.  And then I tasted it.  It was like drinking a chocolate covered cherry and all of my attitude melted away and in that moment I realized exactly how much of our time we'll eventually spend in this place.

Also, I see a weekend tradition forming:  brunch then hiking.

Brunch was at LOLA (a seafood inspired tex-mex-ish place).  A couple of new peeps recommended it to us and it was definitely tasty though the service sucked.  And it was hot inside, so I was forced to order a Mexican Mimosa (beer + tequila + orange juice + lime = YES).

Warning: grainy phone pics.

The Mexican Mimosa 

Double fisting the happiness

The Special: Brisket atop a fried tortilla with a chili sauce + fried egg.

G had the Lola Huevos

The food was awesome but the experience was lacking, so I think it will be quite some time before we darken their door again.  Good thing Denver has 4,988,597 places to eat brunch on the weekends.

Then it was time to convince ourselves we were burning off the calories by walking a trail around Red Rocks.  1.4 miles of high altitude heaving.

I could get used to this.

Lately

I've been wanting to blog lately, but some key people in my life have been going thru some crazy situations, and I've been supporting them.  Which leaves this introvert with no left-over thoughts or words for dawrighthouse.  This is unacceptable I know, but it is what it is.

To make up for all the candy and goodies I've eaten this week (thanks, cupid) I've had not one but two bike sessions.  That's like, almost a whole hour of working out.  I'm turning into a world class athlete and will have to submit my resignation at work when the U.S. Olympic Committee calls.  I may even go for a run today before we have friends over and pig out for dinner.  Yes, you read that right: my body has learned to operate without oxygen.  I've gone running once a week all year and haven't died yet.

A Vday picture from several years ago.  We haven't aged a bit.

The laundry has overtaken us.  We are unable to keep up with it and are on the brink of divorce.  Every time one of us finishes a load, the other comes out of the bedroom with an armful of dirty clothes.  We might have to search the budget for some marital counseling funds.

I go to VA again next week.  It *looks* like after that I won't go as often anymore, which will be nice.  Without me in the house, G and Orca resort to a state of anarchy where no chores get done and XBox consumes them day and night.

TGIF, people!

Travel on the Brain

Travel fever is hitting.  Hard.  And we've got months and months to wait for the next vacay.

A few past pics, run thru Instagram for fun: