Casanova

So, I have to tell you about how my marriage just about dissolved yesterday.  We spent the entire morning on the bus from Rovinj to Zagreb.  It wasn't particularly comfortable or exciting so my plan was to zone out in my book, which is code for "sleep the entire way."

People on these busses are not just Croatian; there's a healthy mix of all kinds of peeps.  I was just settling in for my first doze when we stopped in the next town over.  Four ancient women got on, arms loaded with plastic bags of lavender, and sat down right across from us.  I could tell from the way they talked that they weren't Croatian.  Or German.  I woke up a few minutes later because G was fidgeting next to me.  Right as I was about to swat at him, I realized he was helping one of the ladies with her arm rest.  A few minutes later, another one of them needed help with the seat back.  I didn't think much of it besides, "Geez, you'd think they'd know how to adjust to THEIR OWN PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM.

At the next stop, a lady leaned across the aisle and crooned at G suggestively, pointing to her water bottle.  G delightfully opened it for her and they began a conversation that consisted solely of head nodding, gesturing, and grinning like fools.  I might have whispered, "Oh, puh-leeze."  They ignored me.

A few stops later, the bus driver makes some sort of announcement.  G drops his backpack in my lap, leans over, and starts explaining stuff to the shameless old hussies.  As if he even knew what the driver said, you know, IN CROATIAN.  Oh. My. Gawd.  I was like, THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!  But they just batted their eyes and giggled.  Octogenarians.  Giggling.  G absentmindedly put his book in my lap as well so he could get more comfortable as he repeated on an endless cycle, "twenty minutes.  We stop next in twenty minutes.  The driver say TWENTY."  Giggle, giggle.

They did everything but the old drop-something-accidentally-on-purpose trick so he would bend over to pick it up.  And, believe you me, he would have!  I eventually gave up and fell asleep like the obedient Sherpa I was.

It was a drawn out and tearful goodbye when we (finally) got to their stop.  I ignored G the rest of the way but I don't think he noticed, and then I had to start talking to him again because I wanted gelato and he had all the Kuna.

Dear Lord, please sit me next to a young G when I'm 80 and riding the bus somewhere.  Amen.