Holy Roman Empire

Remember like 1,000 years ago when Saturday Night Live used to have that running skit with Mike Myers (I think) dressed up as the older Jewish lady? He would mention some kind of a topic and then say, "Talk amongst ya selves..."

Well, there was one that we used to mimic in high school. He said, "The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire..."

That's how Lit Society was last night.

You know the drill; it's all about the book and the food. Well, I hadn't read the book (what, with reading 4 novels the last 2 weeks - not kidding) and we weren't planning on going all out with the food. So, it was an unusual, but much needed, night!

I say we weren't planning to go all out with the food, but then this happened. A lobster pasta that I basically double fisted into my mouth within 5 minutes. This is what Chef Campo calls "whipping something up." Really? To me, whipping something up involves a call to Papa John's.

Thanks to a recipe from A-Peep, I brought the bomb of all desserts. A chocolate chip cookie crust, topped with double stuffed Oreos, topped with a dark chocolate brownie. It's elastic waistband all the time around here.

We talked a bit about the book (the review must wait 1,000 years until I have the time to read it) and mostly just caught up. My life is not all that manageable right now, and I needed a sanity check from my peeps. Things are good, just a bit out of control, and the Type A's don't like it when things get out of control. The Type A's want to reel it back in and force it into submission. And life just doesn't work that way.

Anyhoo, is this the cutest little bun bun you've ever seen or what?

Also? The weather has been magnificent lately. Like, in the 60's and 70's. It has felt like spring and has been super sunny. I think it's supposed to snow today or something. Because, you know, it's Denver.

OK, time to chug my coffee and go do the writing consultant thing. I'm so tired, I want to be like, "Here's the thing. I'm going to nap under the table while you write an introductory paragraph, OK? Thanks."

Break

Yesterday I took a much-needed break for a ladies' day with The Russkie. First there was brunch - BRUNCH! The best meal ever created! - at Boulder Cafe.

It occurs to me that, since most of you don't know her, you might picture The Russkie with a thick accent, toting a flask of vodka under her fir-trimmed hat. That's not actually the case, but go ahead and keep picturing her that way, just for fun! I call Putin "her boy" which she totally loves, let me tell you. And when Russia is in the news, I call her out on what "her people" are up to. It's a miracle she's willing to be seen in public with me, like, at all.

Southwest Eggs Benedict. Be still my beating heart.

Russkie got this egg quiche tortilla thing that was divine.

Then we saw the movie. Which I totally want to talk about, but first, I want to give props to the crunchy and organic people of Boulder for their outstanding movie theaters. We just went to the regular ole theater, nothing (I thought) fancy. Um, wrong. Um, I'm going to all the movies in the future at this place. They served Starbucks coffee (!) and real Boulder Creamery Ice Cream (!). What?? So, you know, THIS happened.

I used my waffle cone as a spoon. I may have also made grunting and snorting sounds.

The stadium seating was super steep as well, which I love, because then I don't have to grind my teeth during all the trailers, waiting for a giant to plop down directly in front of me. And the seats were super duper cushioned! More cushy for the tushy!

So, the movie: American Sniper

Source

The Clint Eastwood-directed film is based on the true story of Chris Kyle, who became one of the Army's most successful snipers in all of history. I've mentioned this before, but I have this thing about going to see certain based-on-real-life-current-war-movies (Zero Dark Thirty, Lone Survivor) because it helps me really picture what things are like, and what people go through. Even though it's Hollywood's version, still. I think many people appreciate the movie as an "experience" like I do.

Bradley Cooper did such a great job. Wow. Just, wow. The beginning of the movie was really slow as they developed Chris's character. This is truly a movie about him, not just his Army service, so there was a lot of cinematic attention paid to his youth and home life that I wasn't expecting. The movie, even while watching it, felt slow. But the cinematography, acting, screen shots, effects, everything, were superb. I recommend this with a caveat: there are some scenes with kids that might offend you (violence).

All in all, I need more days like yesterday. I will pay you $1,000 to clean my house and do my taxes for me. Also, please ensure that we get a $10,000-$20,000 refund in order to take several vacations next year. Thanks.

TGIF <--- this one's for the kids

This is how Lucy plays.

TGIF, people!

Lucy Has a Boyfriend

The bottom floor of our house goes a bit below ground level. I'm sure there's an architectural term for this but I have no clue what it is. "Below ground level?"

Lucy lives on the bottom floor.

A certain little furry suitor has commenced regular afternoon visits.

 We've caught him staring through the window at her. She has no idea.

It's only a matter of time until he realizes she's not playing hard to get; she's just mean and antisocial.

Then he'll go for our rabbit lawn ornament.

One Last Book Review To Tide You Over

Already the break seems so long ago. And yet...I'm enjoying the new writing consultant job, despite the insane and unbelievable amount of work it is. I've been put in charge of a couple of workshops and part of me appreciates the opportunity while another (unfortunately, more internally vocal) part of me wishes I could have five minutes to get my own life and classes in order before taking on additional work crap, but what are you gonna do? I mean, really?

How I spend every waking minute at home:

It bears mentioning that the waking minutes are so outnumbering the sleeping ones at this point. So sad.

I squeaked in one more book at the end of the break: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb.

I read this several years ago and remember it being funny. Upon reading it again, I remember that it's also very sad and moving. How's that for descriptive? <-- go easy on me, I have no mental stamina, people.

The story is about a girl who is raised in a broken home and uses TV and food as coping mechanisms. Thus, she becomes very large, gets made fun of, and further isolates herself from people and activities that could help her. The story follows her throughout school, college, and into her mid-thirties. She undergoes a lot of changes as a result of personal development (and psychological healing), and eventually forms meaningful relationships and a healthy life for herself. There are some disturbing parts in it, but Lamb does a phenomenal job of presenting a complex and broken personality, worthy of love and redemption (<--not to say that there is redemption, but there is the potential for it). What I like best is his ability to weave the pitiful and the hilarious; it is just like real life, and I appreciate that.

It is a book I'll hold onto and read again in a few more years if I ever get myself out of 18th century England.

Speaking of, I better get back to it.

Winter Tradition: The Stock Show

Yesterday I managed to leave eighteenth century England for a few hours, G put on his chaps, and we headed to the SuperBowl of Stock Shows!

G says next year, we should treat this like a Con (<--that's nerd speak for a 'conference' or gaming convention or nerd fest where the people all dress up like hobbits and anime characters and stuff). He said he could don some skin-tight Wranglers and I could plaster rhinestones all over my purse and we would fit right in. The man has a point.

I've probably mentioned this in past posts, but they have everything you can possibly imagine at these conventions. Each year I get a couple of new tattoo covers bracelets. We pig out. We have some drinks. We people watch. We always check out the "bird people": an educational program that rescues wild birds and uses them as ambassadors for the animal kingdom, traveling to schools and shows to teach people more about native wildlife.

This year we were brilliant and reserved tickets for the rodeo in advance. It occurs to me that people may have mixed feelings about rodeos, or about these huge agricultural events in general. Don't they just use animals? Break them and breed them and then eventually eat them?

I have to say, and maybe this is a product of mostly growing up on a farm in the south, you will be hard-pressed to find a group of people that (1) understands animals, and (2) respects them more than farmers, ranchers, and cowboys. They have relationships with these animals, and you can see that. It makes me want to go out and buy 57 horses immediately. Lucy can deal.

Full disclosure: it does feel a bit weird to gush and love all over the animals, then sneak away to eat some BBQ. But, what are you gonna do? It's so good.

They had (of course) every kind of farm tool and transportation known to man. There were cooking shows and furniture expos and clothing shops and endless arrays of boots and hats. There were petting zoos and indoor pony rides and souvenir picture booths and CSU educational displays. There were birds and lambs and cows and horses and llamas and bison and herding dogs. There were cowboys and cowgirls of all ages.

We considered running home and getting Lucy so that we could trade her in for a more useful animal. But we didn't feel like making the drive.

We ended the day with the 109th annual North Western Stock Show Rodeo. Now, I'm no stranger to rodeos; I've seen my fair share of bull- and steer-riding. My papa was a horse enthusiast and I spent a lot of my youth watching him train wild horses. I've even been bucked off, which, let me tell you, was not a fun experience.

But even so.

I almost gave myself a headache, grinding my teeth and holding my breath while these cowboys got flung all over the place. I would grimace and the lady next to me (a total stranger, I might add) would grab my arm and pray in Spanish. Meanwhile, G was adjusting the camera settings, looking around, sipping his frozen lemonade. This man is heartless when it comes to the rodeo. As far as he's concerned, the cowboys are certifiably insane for getting that close to a 2,000 pound, unpredictable bull in the first place. If they get trampled? Well, they had it coming.

A couple of times, I thought I heard him rooting for the bull under his breath.

Meanwhile I was trying to flag down the Coors guy. If not for myself, than for the Señora next to me.

It was a great day. It was nice to mix in some Americana before returning back to England for the rest of the night, weekend, etc.