Feminism and Christianity - What Gives?

Remember how I took that Feminist Thought class last semester? And totally loved it and learned a lot? Before taking that class, I would not have described myself as a feminist, simply because I'm not a bra-burning man-hater. However, as we studied the impact and evolution of ideologies and theories over time, and how the pendulum regarding a woman's nature and whether or not she should have rights tends to swing back and forth wildly over generations, I realized that, oh yes I'm a feminist.

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I also realized that feminism is not one distinct thing in our culture. It can mean many different things. For me, it doesn't mean that I view every situation in life through the lens of Mars v. Venus, but it does mean that as a result of my experiences, I notice things that, say, G doesn't. Like, when we bought our first house, and met with the lender, and I was the one answering the questions, but for over an hour the man still directed all the questions to G. That type of thing. But as the class continued and I whined about papers, I also began to wonder where Christianity fits in all of this. What does it mean to be a feminist Christian?

Enter a very good book, recommended (with caveats) by Nat King Cole:

The Accidental Feminist: Restoring Our Delight in God's Good Design by Courtney Reissig

In this short gem, Reissig provides a brief description of the three main "waves" of feminism over the course of the last century. Although these movements have led to very positive results for women (the right to vote, own property, not be considered property, join the work force, to control their own bodies) they have also led to the flawed belief that women, according to Reissig's interpretation, are better than men and deserve to have it all: marriage, kids, a career, everything all at once. I differ from Reissig in that I don't believe, necessarily, that to be a feminist is to believe I deserve everything I want and getting it should be easy. I don't believe that women are better than men. But, aside from that...

Reissig's book is well-written and heavy on scripture, which I appreciate. The woman knows her theology and quotes many modern writers, both secular and Christian. I haven't looked to see what other books she has published, but I hope she continues to write. She has tapped into a conversation that desperately needs to continue. I would read other books by her.

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That said, while I agree with the majority of her points, I resent the fact that by the end of the book, women are right back in the kitchen with babies crawling at their feet. Careers and other aspirations are mere dreams deferred and women are encouraged to put many of their goals on the back burner in favor of the other demanding seasons in their lives as a result of having children. I just can't let this go.

99% of my main peeps are Christian women who have multiple children. Nothing wrong with that. However. I think it's a problem to send women the message, however supported by Biblical verses it may be, that to have children even if you don't want them or don't like them is your job. Some of my mom friends have discovered that in order to be better wives and mothers, they need a purpose beyond the house. You know why? Because they have talents and gifts that cry out to be fulfilled. Does this mean every mom should work? Of course not. But it means that women should not be treated in this cookie cutter manner that assumes their ultimate career will be one of wife/mother. I say this as someone who spends a lot of time (with God!) trying to be a good wife. But still.

Reissig makes a point to write to single women, and women without children, throughout her chapters. But the underlying assumption is that a woman is working toward a man and a brood. Yes, the Bible has many scriptures about family. Yes, the Bible is truth. However, we live in a time that is complicated, and this may not be the path for women (or men) due to complex reasons and life experiences. Just sayin. A woman's worth is in God alone (Reissig does stress this) as is a man's.

In short, I believe Reissig attributes too much power to the feminist movement(s) and to Betty Freidan. I don't think that feminism is something that women now need to "recover" from. I hope that there are books out there for guys, talking about how they can serve others, and love girls appropriately, and encourage women, and what they can expect out of the various seasons of their lives. I really hope that inside the church we are not placing the burden on women for their purity and the purity of others. I hope that women are being empowered to be godly and independent - not because men are bad, but because women are individuals. Men are not being raised (as far as I know) to put a ton of meaning on finding a woman. It is to a girl's detriment to treat her goals as something that occur "in the mean time" until Mr. Right comes along. What if he doesn't? What does it mean that we imply that her dreams are temporary?

Anyhoo. Still, I think this book is worth reading. This is a conversation worth having. I'm getting off my soapbox now.