Telemarketers don't like him, but waiters sure do

I've noticed a trend for quite some time, and it was absolutely confirmed last night.  I'm just gonna put it out there - gay waiters love G. 

We don't eat out a ton, but when we do, and when our waiter happens to fall left-of-center, they just fawn over stuffy ole G.  As you know, G is as straight as they come.  There's nothing even slightly...askew with him.  No hair gel.  No mani/pedis.  No Bravo Channel.  No watching Glee.  No coffee with froth or flavor.  Heck, he's not even very nice.  Leave him with a ham sandwich and a WWII book, and he's fine.  Stuff him in a booth with a pink-haired, giddy waiter and it's a whole other story.

Last night was classic.

We went to a popular Italian restaurant and from the moment we sat down, our drinks were always filled, dirty dishes were scooped away immediately, recommendations flowed like wine, and the waiter fluttered around the table almost nonstop.  G was surly.  He was curt.  He made no eye contact.  None of this mattered.

When the waiter brought our food, he leaned in to G and said, "Sir?  Have you tried our sausage here before?  It's delicious!"

I raised my eyebrows at G and he goes, "Don't.  Just don't."

You can't make this stuff up.

At the end of the meal, I got up to go to the bathroom and I jokingly said, "Watch out!  You're gonna be alone for a few minutes!"  When I got back, there were two desserts on the table, courtesy of the waiter.  Not one to share; two full ones.  For free.  I was like, mmmm hmmm.  G said, "Just eat it and let's go.  Hurry up."  But alas, I couldn't shovel it in fast enough, and here came our ever-helpful servant to wish us a good night and a happy holiday.

This makes G incredibly uncomfortable, but it's causing me to think that we should frequent these places more often.  I could get some free drinks.  Maybe score a gift card.