Don't you love how we switch up topics here on the ol' blog? Just when you get comfy reading about food and rabbits, here comes stress and anxiety. I'm like a blog ninja that way.
Actually,
life is that way. Just when you get yesterday's problems sorted out, it hits the fan today (see:
stress management). There are thousands of tips and ideas out there, and I've experimented over the years to find out what works for me. Here are just a few...
(Caveat: Some of these tips can be put into effect today - others may take months to sink in.)
Perfection is not the goal
You may not think of yourself as a perfectionist. But does it bother you,
really bother you, to make mistakes? Do you feel as if one day, a mistake will be too big, and you won't be able to fix it?
It helped me to realize that most mistakes I (as a responsible adult) was likely to make were NBD. A bad haircut? A bad day at work? Those things aren't going to kill me - in fact, if I pay attention to the mistakes, they will most likely end up helping me, teaching me, showing me something I didn't realize before. There is a lot more freedom in day-to-day living if you can get past the fear of screwing up. Just learn to shake your head, laugh at yourself, and say "Well...
that didn't pan." And move on.
Avoid spicy (or tricky) foods
If you're anything like me, then the thought of not eating spicy foods is likely to make you
more anxious, not less! Let's just take a moment to appreciate some good salsa, that's all I'm sayin'. But when your life has turned upside down and your mind is really gnawing on issues and you need to curb that anxiety, then eat mild foods. Or at least try it out for a couple of days and see if it makes a difference.
Spicy or tricky foods can mess with your digestive system, causing you to physically feel anxious or just bad (upset stomach, dehydration, sluggishness). This, in turn, can cause you to
feel even more anxious than you actually are and hinder you from getting better. A few good choices are: bananas, rice, mild soups, yogurt, tasty sandwiches, ginger ale and peppermint tea.
Find a creative outlet
If you don't already have something in mind, then this tip is one that deserves time and some experimentation on your part. Does your job zap you? Do the kids demand every ounce of creativity you have? Then this is going to be a challenge but I'm telling you it will help restore your identity and self-expression. Finding one or two fun ways to be creative will help you remember who you are, and that you don't exist simply to punch the time clock or slap some chicken nuggets on a tray. You are an individual; there is no one else like you. What sounds like fun? Try it!
Incidentally, this is why we (really, I) started blogging. I had decided that even if no one read it, it would be a good way for me to document daily life and reflect on things. I enjoyed reading your blogs so much that I wanted to try it out for myself. Almost two years later (!) it is still an anxiety management tool in my life.
Give yourself choices
A couple of years ago, I made a conscious effort to fight my anxiety. In this process, someone close to me told me to give myself as many choices as I could. At first, all I could concentrate on were the choices I
didn't have (I
have to work; I
have to drive a long way to get there; I
have to return this phone call; I
have to clean the house; I
have to do something about my weight.)
But this person hammered it into me and then she did the one thing she could do to force a Type A person to do something: she made it my homework. She assigned me the task of giving myself as many choices as I could every day. That's when I realized that a big part of my anxiety was due to living my personal life on auto pilot.
I would plod to my closet in the morning and grab clothes without thinking about it. So I started to jazz it up every day. I would purposefully pick a new combination, or new jewelry, or a new hairstyle, simply to make things different. (This is where it's helpful to see point one again - mistakes are OK! Ha! Wearing a funky outfit for a day is not going to kill me!). I would plod into the kitchen and grab cereal for breakfast - so I started to jazz that up, too. Then I changed the music I listened to in the car; then I changed up what I took to work for lunch.
These are small things, but they're really not. Pay attention to the things you never pay attention to anymore. Making a tweak here and there can restore small bits of happiness throughout the day. When I started really trying to give myself choices, I realized many ways I could save time throughout my week. Which, in turn, gave me time to workout more easily, read more, and veg around the house with G more. Those small changes had lasting consequences that reduced my anxiety. So, every few weeks, when I start to realize I'm on auto pilot, I revert back to making those small changes and giving myself as many options during the day as I can.
Surround yourself with things that are important to you
If you are experiencing anxiety, it is easy to lose yourself. Therefore it is important to surround yourself with things (big, small, silly, beautiful) that remind you of who you are and what you like. I keep a couple of frames in my office and put pictures of our travel in them. That way, when I hang up from a stressful phone call, or I take a deep breath before starting a hard project, I look at the pictures and remind myself that there is more to life than work. I am more than a cog in the machine.
And when I realize that I no longer "see" these pictures, I replace them with new ones. Sometimes I replace them with pics of friends, or Orca, or nature shots, or artistic shots of stuff around the house. This can be applied to many areas of life. Redecorate one room in your house with items and articles from another room. Frame your kids' artwork and put it up on display (or alternately, take it all down and surround yourself with some grown-up stuff for a change :).
As they say, the days are long but the years are short. Paying attention to my days has increased the quality of my years. And like anything that truly matters, there is not just one correct way to do things, and it is not possible to find the one answer that will solve all the problems. So the key is to try this and try that and keep a sense of humor and remember who you are and what is important. Because one of these days your problems really will disappear.
Do you have tried and true anxiety tips? Wanna share? :)
