I got so overwhelmed this semester that I started reading for fun again. It makes no sense and I have no time, but I realized that devoting every waking hour of the day to some form of work was not, well, working for me. So about 3 weeks ago, as I was crawling into bed with my theory book, I was like, no. And I went downstairs and picked up an Anne Lamott book. And I haven't put them down since.
I've said many times that I'm a huge Lamott fan. And I've said many times that she's not for everyone, particularly in the Christian world. Her use of F Bombs could, you know, turn some people off.
But.
Her books have put me back on course again. And I'm talking about her essays, not her fiction. I have needed a series of quick reads that are about real life. Not about theory or history or literary characters. Real characters.
As I've been working my way through her books (yet again), I've been mulling over how to be more present in my own life, and that has helped lead to the decision, as I've mentioned on here lately, to quit half The Jobs. I have worked so hard to get myself firmly situated in a new career field (whatever that means), that the thought of loosening my talons freaks me out.
But I want to take walks. And have the time to give friends rides home from work. I want moments of the day, hours even, when I don't have to grade. I want All The Time to read Virginia Woolf over the summer and into the fall. I want to build more lesson plans and shake things up a bit. I want to get together with friends, way, way more often that I am currently able to.
So, I must make more time. I must let some things go.
Anne Lamott says that when you don't know what to do, you should seek wise counsel (very Biblical notion, that one). I've been praying (read: complaining to God and rolling my eyes a lot and asking him, who, exactly, thought that grad school was a good idea) and I thought I'd try my new plans out on my peeps, my safe people, and gauge their reactions.
None of them freaked out. They nonchalantly drank their wine or messed with their kids or messed with my rabbit while I repeated, in case they didn't understand me the first time, that, no really, I think I'm going to quit half The Jobs. No one asked me if I was triple sure or had I considered X, Y, and Z, or that maybe I should think about _______.
Hands down, across my little tribe, the consensus was, do it.
On Friday at a staff meeting, I made it official that I'm not working over the summer and I'm dropping my hours way down in the fall. In the next couple of weeks, I'll let the prof for my grading side job know so that he can make plans over the summer.
It's all happening! I'm really, really happy with my decision!
And my brother and SIL get here tomorrow! Oh, happy day! Let me hurry up and finish grading and then cobble together a theory paper...
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