Between a rock and a hard place

I want so badly to tell you people that my life consists of more than medical issues.  Or at least it used to.  I try to resist the urge to whine and complain about the kidney stone experience, but earlier this week I found out that I have:

another kidney stone!

in the other kidney!

and it's stuck there!

I'm actually running out of witty post titles.  I almost called this one "Stoned out of my mind."

This week, I went in for a follow-up appointment with the urologist who removed the kidney stone a few weeks ago during my lovely Tour of the Local Hospitals.  The plan was for us to discuss the chemical composit of the stone, and tips for prevention of future kidney stones. 

Not mine - just a sample shot of a stone

As it turns out, my stone was what most people experience:  calcium oxalate.  Calcium, in most of its forms, is very good for me and I should continue to eat it.  The tricky part is the oxalate.  It exists in foods that are typically good for people, but there's something about the way it bonds with calcium that frikkin' wreaks havoc.  Foods high in oxalates are:  spinach, beets, chocolate, nuts.  I intend to avoid these like the plague from now on.

Here's the other thing:  the most effective thing anyone can do to prevent kidney stones is to drink water.  Like a fish.  Like a man dying in the desert.  Drink it on a scale that was considered unimaginable and possibly dangerous in one's life before.  My goal is to drink 8 full bottles a day.  That doesn't sound like much, does it?  I have a 23-oz bottle and I'm a determined person.  Still, I have yet to reach that goal.  Even though I work out.  Even though I carry the bottle with me everywhere and sometimes down the whole thing in one sitting.  This baffles me.

G is trying to help me deal with this.  He stands outside the bathroom door and shouts things like, "Water is great for your skin!" and "Water is a proven weight-loss tool!" and "The body is like 70% water - just think how great this is for your health!"

Now let's address the fact that I have a ticking time bomb in my own body.  As far as we know - and I'm sure we would know otherwise! - the stone is lodged in my right kidney.  It's smaller than the previous stone (thank you Jesus and all the Heavenly Host) so it *should* pass on its own when the time comes.  But WHEN IS THE TIME GOING TO COME?  As much as I don't want to live in fear, the reality is that at any point in my future, I will be wracked with unbelievable and uncontrollable pain.  Again.

So here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Yes, that swishing sound you hear is my stomach.  And yes, my pants are too tight and I look like I've put on 5 pounds.