Small Changes (Tried and True Goal-Setting Methods)

You know I'm all about goal-setting. There is something attractive to me about continually working toward improvement in its many different forms (spiritual, physical, emotional, educational, domestic goddesshood, etc.). I've had a couple of conversations lately that have brought my goal-setting systems to mind and I thought I'd share a bit about them here. New Year New You and all that.

(From The New Yorker Jan 11, 2016)

What I'm doing now: DAILY

Every day in 2016 I'm setting a small goal for myself. Every day. In the past, I've done weekly goals (see next point) but my days and weeks are so different at this stage of the professional game, that I don't want to hold myself to the same goal every day, seven days in a row. Instead, I'll tweak my goals for each day. This might sound over-the-top-high-maintenance, but it's not because I'm talking about small changes. Their significance will come over the weeks and months as they add up.

Mostly, these changes are physical: related directly to eating or exercise. For example, when I visited Gama, my goals on the days I flew were not to sit in the airport. At all. Now, I usually try to take direct flights so that I don't have to deal with layovers, but that wasn't possible this time. So, during my layover(s), I resolved to either walk or stand. I mostly walked, but on the way back, I worked on teaching stuff for next semester and before I knew it, I had been standing for two hours and it was time to board. How much healthier that was than sitting and sipping wine, which, let's be honest, is what I wanted to do.

You see a lot of...interesting things while walking in the airport.

Other daily goals so far have included walking to various appointments rather than driving. Today's goal is to do a series of ab exercises. I have no idea (yet) what tomorrow's goal will be. I look forward to this "system" because each day is new and fresh and different. My goals are small enough, and tweaked enough for that day, to be doable. At the same time they are large enough, and focused enough (again, these goals contribute to either diet or exercise) that over time they will keep me healthy and - hopefully - make me even healthier.

What I've done in the past: WEEKLY

In the past few years I have set weekly goals. This was a good system for me when I had a more 9-5 type of professional routine, and these goals were all over the map rather than strictly health-related. What I liked about these goals is that they often turned into habits. For example, I would increase my daily water intake for one week and in that time I would discover that it was easily something I could do every day for ever and ever, so I did.

Foam rolling: a weekly goal that became a daily habit

These weekly goals helped me to branch out and truly prioritize the areas of my life that weren't work-related. I had to get up and go to work every day. But I didn't have to do anything else. Often times this meant I would go home and veg out in front of the TV and - again, over time - that's not the person I want to be, and that's not the life I want to live. So, I would try different things like not eating out that week, or making sure to call one family member each week, or getting up early for quiet time, or not spending any money unnecessarily, or downloading one new song, or memorizing one new verse, or sending a friend a card, etc.

This weekly system helped me to realize a lot of things I didn't want to do, simply because I tried them out for a week and could say "eh" (from personal experience) and move on to the next thing. However, at least I was trying! Each week was new and different; I would sit down on Sunday and review the past week as well as reflect on the coming week. If I wanted to set the same goal for multiple weeks, I would.

**I have to stress that what was so effective to me about this system was that many, many goals turned into habits and, in that process, contributed a lot to me living my life - each day - the way I want to.

What I've done forever: MONTHLY

I'm a big fan of monthly goals. Many of these are seasonal, and that's OK with me because life is seasonal. In my experience - and this is a big duh statement - goals are more achievable when they're realistic. And, in my experience, I'm much more likely to do things when I actually name them as goals and write them down - or, as is the case, type them into my phone. So, monthly goals hold me accountable to have fun and branch out every 30 days.

You guys know most of these already because they end up as posts! Every fall we do a brunch. Every winter we go to the Denver Stock Show. Every summer we go hiking. Every winter we make improvements inside the house. These things are simple but it's important to note that they get planned and scheduled and discussed and tweaked so that they don't get passed by and overlooked and missed. These fun things are every bit as scheduled as my work is and I take them just as seriously.

In my phone notes, I have the months listed and I keep a "living" list of to-do's, some of which, like I've mentioned, are fun. However, this list mostly includes administrative (adult) stuff and reminders of things to do each month that will make the next month more manageable. For example, January always includes making a tax appointment - not necessarily within January, but getting it scheduled for sometime soon. This ensures that sometime in February the taxes will be done and that sometime in March we'll be hung out to dry but by summer time we'll have our finances in order to take a vacation. Tried and true system. January affects June. In a good way.

This monthly admin stuff includes flushing out the sprinklers in the fall, opening them back up in the spring, setting up yard service in the summer, arranging oil changes and registration for the cars, dr. appts, dentist appts, vet appts, visits to family, work trips, fun trips, when to change the house air filters, when to adjust our heater thermostat, etc. You get the idea. I never have to worry about being organized, because I've used this system for so long. I know that I'm getting my bike serviced in April so that I can ride it to work starting in May. It's already on the list. I know that I'm riding my bike to work all next summer and fall because - wait for it! - that was a weekly goal I set in the past that transformed into a more permanent way of life.


What I've also done forever: YEARLY

For me, these goals are the biggest and the fewest. These are the more typical New Year's Resolutions or whatever, the large goals I want to keep in the forefront of my mind for the year. These goals are listed in the notes part of my phone, right above the monthly ones. One of my 2016 goals is to have a date night every week. G and I have already scheduled it and it's just as non-negotiable as going to work. I already look forward to going to a restaurant, sipping wine, and savoring a meal while we sit and talk, face-to-face, in the middle of the week!

My big goals also include Lit Society, taking a big trip, some spiritual goals, scheduling more trips to see Gama, and really, really, really trying to get together with my bro.

Rovinj, Croatia

TAKE IT WHEN YOU CAN GET IT (OR: CARPE DIEM)

This is more of a life philosophy than a goal, per se, but it bears mentioning. When life hands me an opportunity, I grab it! I do not pass go and I do not collect $200. I act first and ask questions later.

My motto for every. single. paper.

I'm not talking about stupid, spontaneous decisions. I'm talking about recognizing - in that moment - that God is absolutely handing you something cool, and deciding to take it.

Some examples of this are presenting at the conference in Salt Lake City (that opportunity randomly arose one day at work), moving to Denver (!) from Virginia, a trip we have planned for later this month, and who knows?

Who knows what will be handed to us this year?!

(P.S. Please remind me of this optimism when I'm buried under school work and complaining 24/7.)

What works for you?

Thinking About Thinking

We had Lit Society the other night at a fabulous little Tex-Mex place. The whole idea was working until I had to get up at 4:00 the next morning to catch one of the first flights out of Denver. Oh, tequila. Oh, cheesy, greasy deliciousness. The first thing I did when I got up was drink a liter of water.

Me: "Cute pic! Can I use it on the blog?" Nat King Cole: "<sigh> I guess. I mean, that's what we look like."

On to the book!

Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

You have probably heard of this one because it has been on the best seller list forever. Kahneman won the Nobel Prize in Economics and has been a scholar in the fields of psychology, decision making, and meta cognition for decades. He includes research from his own work and many additional studies to illustrate how we make decisions and come to conclusions. The process is both extremely complicated/sophisticated and bafflingly flawed. The book is full of examples to prove his points, as well as anecdotes to explain how various cognitive processes play out in the decisions we make every day. Some decisions are minor; some are life-changing.

The book is well-written, easy to follow, and relatively simple considering the complicated nature of the material. If you have never read any book of this type, I recommend this one because not only does he provide so much of his own research, but he mentions other good books and resources (two that I've read are The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb and Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert). A quick and almost-too-concise summary of this book would be: (1) Our thinking is influenced by a whole slew of forces in our environment that are subtle and out of our control, and (2) Although we like to think of ourselves as competent thinkers immune to the influences that these psychological studies reveal, we are wrong.

If you want to step away from fiction to read something academic and intellectually substantial, this is a great choice. It ties directly to daily life, and has many spiritual implications as well. In fact, it has so many spiritual implications (this is not the intent of the book; this is our interpretation of many points) that the book we chose for the next Lit Society is by good ole Timothy Keller.

TGIF, people!

Where Y'All is a (Good) 4-Letter Word

Hello from the south where it rained all day and my hair has frizzed to the point of no return.

But! The south is where Gama is.

Things can get a little cray cray when we try to take pictures. G calls us, and I quote, "wild and crazy girlz." Indeed.

After our shenanigans today I caught up on some work. HOW can the break almost be over? It's not POSSIBLE. The good news is that I now have my entire work and teaching schedule for next semester. The bad news is that I now have my entire work and teaching schedule for next semester.

Hold on while I breathe into this paper bag.

All joking aside, I learned my lesson last semester and am making some much-needed changes now. For example, I'm not taking two literature classes (just a humdinger of a theory class) and I'm forcing myself to take one day off during the week. Now, this won't really be a day off, but it will serve as a catch-the-eff-up day. I need one of those. If I'm going to continue the grading "side job" then this is truly the only way to keep my head above water. And bunny mama wants to travel so bunny mama will be keeping that side job.

Go back to work.

I'll give you all my King Sooper's coupons if you'll finish tweaking my syllabus.

We've Come a Long Way, Bunny

Well, well, well. Guess who has physical proof of the bunny love fests that have been going on at dawrighthouse?

Check it out!

She lets us give her kisses!

Here, let me zoom in on that to give you a better view of all the lovingkindness:

Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I think Lucy is a love bug in disguise. In a very surly, disdainful, anti-social, extremely introverted rabbit disguise.

But this put me over the moon.

Small Changes

Hello from the sick ward. We're getting better but slowly. Oh, so slowly. Most of the time it sounds like a twisted round of Marco Polo in the house, consisting of coughing instead of yelling. A round of coughing will start in one room and will soon be echoed in another. So not fun.

On the other hand, G's voice is now so low that I'm going to have to beat the women off him. We ventured into the land of the living today for a Target run, and women were falling all over themselves trying to help him because he sounds like a sexy Darth Vader. Oh, puh-lease.

Remember when I said I want to make some small changes around the house this year? Well, I am a woman of my word. Here's the first change: a rug in the dining room!

Before

After

I like how it pulls the whole room together and makes it look more cohesive! It makes me happy and helps balance the enormous and depressing chore of putting away all the Christmas decorations.

Speaking of small changes, I've started making them to my syllabus as well. It occurs to me that from your point of view, it may not make sense, these changes. I'm not doing a major overhaul, just a few tweaks that I think - like the dining room rug! - make the class and the lessons more cohesive. Instead of three major papers, I'm increasing the load to four (although each one will be a bit shorter and worth a bit less of the total grade). I'm lightening the homework load, just a bit, from their book and adding a required amount of reading responses (like, mini analytical papers) for book excerpts and articles that I'm selecting for additional close readings. It's more work for them - and me - but these changes also keep the lessons fresh, and overall they're very interesting. Or, at least, I like to think they're interesting! One of the best pieces of advice I got as a new instructor is to give writing/paper assignments that I wouldn't mind doing. I've always remembered that and I spend a lot of time thinking of how to make things as interesting (relevant, thought-provoking, important, significant) as possible, while giving students a choice regarding their work.

Teacher of the year, right here.

But it feels like a lot of work (after all, I've been laying around for days). Good thing I have a large DDP from Sonic for fuel.

I'm leaving the Christmas tree up so that I can gaze adoringly at it for one more day.

This week is full of appointments and a crazy schedule. The countdown begins for the Spring semester.

TGIF, people!

Here's a little something to use when jotting down those New Year's goals.