Stick a Fork in Me

I'm done.

(Except for the grading. All the grading.)

Marshalling Forces

Today was my last day of work for the semester (in my writing consultant job). Back-to-back appointments with needy students freaking out over their papers. I was like: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT FREAKING OUT EVEN ISSSS, BEYOCHES! (Then I remembered that during my evaluation yesterday with my boss, I was given my second raise in 4 months and I toned it down a tad.) (<--- I still make nothing. G's paycheck laughs at my paycheck. Heck, Lucy's paycheck laughs at my paycheck. And, no, Lucy doesn't get a paycheck. Which is my point.)

I still have so many hours of grading left that I can't even face it, so it's not like all my work is done.

But. I turned in my Virginia Woolf paper yesterday! Look at the pure exhilaration! Mixed with exhaustion! I was so over it. So. Over. It. However, I've been working with two graduate profs who have agreed to let me formulate an independent study for Virginia Woolf next fall and count it towards my Women & Gender Studies Certificate. I pushed them over the edge when I made the case that if I were going to to pursue a PhD, this would be my focus, but alas, I'm not going on to a PhD program. So could I do it now? And they agreed!

So now everyone has left work and the office is silent and I've been plugging away on my draft for an hour. Just took a quick coffee/blog break and I'm going back to it. There will be hours of writing tonight. Then there will be getting up very early tomorrow morning (like, 4:00 a.m.) and hours of writing all day - literally until the last minute tomorrow afternoon - until I turn it in.

But I'm almost there.

Too Much

Welp, the Virginia Woolf paper is done. Part of me wants to insert a self-deprecating joke in here like, "for better or worse, here we go!" but the fact is, it's a good paper. I put about 50 hours of work into that thing, between researching, re-reading, thinking and thinking and thinking (in the shower, in the car, in class, at work, while watching TV, while taking Loo Loo Bell to the vet) and finally, writing.

It's a good paper. I'll get an A. I'll read Woolf (or, as I lovingly call her to my class mates, "Vee Dub," for her initials) for the rest of my life. She has changed my life for the better.

But this semester has been too much, and I realize that now.

Much of our driving in South Dakota looked like this. This is an interstate. This is also how I visualize the inside of my brain this semester. Looking for something in particular? Good luck!

The nail in the coffin of my mental stability and well-being, I now see so clearly, was taking two literature classes at the same time. I've taken two classes at the same time before, but in those combinations, only one of them was literature, and that made all the difference. There is not enough time in a week to work as many hours as I do and to read a minimum of two novels and to write analytical papers about them in conjunction with reading critical theory. That is not, like, actually possible given the time and space parameters within which I must work.

There has not been time left over for anything. I know that I blog about fun things on here, but I've even had to work for those - long hours of grading and reading/writing in advance in order to take a couple of days off for Vegas or whatever. (Not complaining! But also, that way of life is not sustainable!)

I don't know how I would have managed to complete some of my last assignments (and grading) of the semester if I hadn't taken the mini-sabbatical during the Salt Lake City conference. I worked for hours upon hours in solitude and that single handedly saved my semester.

Large Peppermint Mocha: the other thing that saved my semester

I keep thinking that all I want is a routine, but I act in opposition to that. Each time that I get used to, say, positive changes that I've made in my teaching, or in my syllabus, I decide to make even more. I decide to switch up all the assignments, or the text book, or whatever, and that snowballs into a complete overhaul every few months. Even as I type this, I already know that I'm going to change the text book for next semester, which changes all the homework, which changes some of the in-class lectures, and on top of that I'm going to add in an extra paper for them - which adds in 50 additional papers to grade.

But it is what it is. I realize that as much as I think I want to be complacent and operate within some type of mindless routine, that is not at all what I actually do or how I actually live my life.

How I actually live my life is through constant evaluation and goal-making and pushing the boundaries to prove to myself that I can do this. This career change was the right decision. I belong on campus, in a multitude of capacities, forever.

But I'm never taking two lit classes again.

These family times have been few and far between.

All joking aside, I do not know how I'm going to research and write my last paper - the American Novel one - in the next 24 hours. I sacrificed a lot of time from this project to finish the VW paper, and the scary thing is that this next paper is for my most difficult instructor. I don't know how I'm going to organize my thoughts, much less put them into writing, much less pull off a near-perfect paper. 

I have a work meeting (my semester evaluation) this afternoon, and I work for several hours tomorrow. Goodbye, sleep! It was nice knowing you! I'll spend plenty of quality time with you over the holiday break!

 

To Market, To Market

Last night I took a break from writing and we braved the wild and crazy crowds downtown to go to the German Christmas Market.

Our esteemed reader in Germany can now take a moment to chuckle at how small it is.

It really is ridiculously small - maybe 15-20 little shops crammed onto a street corner. People walking all over each other to gawk at the German wood work, glass ornaments, Slovakian Father Christmases (our annual tradition since moving here), candles, baked goods, brats, and more. There is also a small tent with German beer and folk music. It's festive and very fun, but also incredibly full. Too full for us this year. No room at the inn and all that.

But I love this tradition. When you're in the middle of the chaos, for a moment or two it does feel like a German market (minus all the peeps speaking German) and it brings back some really wonderful memories of past vacations. No matter how small the market is I hope they continue to do this every year because I love it. It's such a great way for me and G to usher in the holidays after a chaotic semester.

A few pics.

We always arrive hungry so we can take advantage of the authentic German food. G opts for the curryworst (sp?) and I always go for a smoked brat with all the sauerkraut they'll give me. We didn't go for the potato pancakes this year because it was super cold outside where we ate and we didn't want to have to shovel the food in before it got cold.

Every year we get a Father Christmas figure from this stand. One of my favorite traditions is arguing with G over which one to get, and winning. :) Actually, the first year I lived here (before he had moved out here from VA) I caved and we bought the one he chose. Ah, marriage.

Afterwards, we grabbed some hot cocoa (read: peppermint mocha for me) and browsed around Barnes and Noble for a while.

Then back to writing. Today my goal is to wrap up Virginia Woolf and say farewell to her for the semester. Must move on to a killer American Lit project. Must not fail out of grad school.

Grouchy Girl Goes to the Vet

Yesterday I had to take off work because Loo Loo Bean had a vet appointment. Nothing was wrong! It had just been several months since her last check up, and her vet has a funky schedule (read: hello, Boulder!) and we wanted to get her in before the holidays.

So G waved goodbye and skipped out the door for work, just as I was loading Lucifer into the car for our mini-road trip.

Neither of us was happy about the whole ordeal.

I better get a treat for this. Like, pronto.

Hands off, buster.

As I've said before, her vet loves her, and loves rabbits, which makes him perfect in many ways. He's my favorite vet we've ever had (other than when we lived in Hawaii a thousand years ago and had The Rabbit Whisperer). He coos at her and sweet talks her and generally disregards her super negative attitude.

Consequently, she tolerates him and glares at me. **sigh** The life of a parent, I guess.

Dude, my tummy is fine! Quit squeezing.

Time to go, Mom. I mean it.

She and I were both exhausted after the morning's ordeal and had to stop at Sonic to refuel.

The next few days consist of DDP and writing research papers. I'll give you all my King Sooper's coupons if you'll grade papers for me.

TGIF, people

What's wrong with this picture?

Elicit

Dudes, the last few days have been a complete whirlwind. Writing, writing, teaching, working, reading, writing, and rewriting. I've been so stressed out - all I want to do is decorate every spare inch of the house for Christmas, but instead I've got all this bleepity bleep work to do, so I've been stomping around, wailing and gnashing my teeth. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel because I still have two enormous research papers to somehow pull out of thin air by next week. And these pesky students with their pesky writing needs and their pesky grade questions are driving me nuts. So needy.

But!

Tonight I did something that is absolutely unheard of around dawrighthouse. I came home, did some work for a while...and then decided to go shopping. Shopping! On a school night! As in, voluntarily leaving the house and contemplating spending some money! For fun!

I felt like I was breaking the law or something. I even swung by Sonic for a DDP. Things are getting wild and crazy up in here.

And I scored some great new decs! Check them out!

Not bad, huh? We managed to get the tree up, but the decorating will have to wait until tomorrow or the next day. Lucy is beyond annoyed at the festive lights and the Christmas music playing in the background.

We caught her trying to escape, but she can't quite face the hardwood floor. She's more of a fluffy carpet kind of bunny.

Ok, I'll wrap up with a couple more pics. Stay tuned for the latest Lit Society report and other thrilling happenings around here. I just need to force myself to do some research before crashing tonight.

The Type A Holiday Traditions start this week!